President (game)

President (also known as Asshole, Presidents and Assholes (P&A), Kings and Assholes, The Great Dalmuti, Janitor, Warlords and Scumbags or Scum) is a card game for 3 or more in which players race to get rid of all their cards. The game is popular with people of all ages, from children to adults. It is often played informally as a drinking game.

Cards

The game is usually played with a single deck of cards, although with more than five players two decks are commonly used. Suit does not in general matter, but cards hold their usual heirarchical ranks — except that, traditionally, Twos rank above Aces, which themselves rank above Kings, leaving Threes as the lowest cards. (Occasionally a joker is used, who beats even a Two.) The high card is often called a nuke.

The game may be thought of as a sort of auction in which the winner earns the right to lead the card which begins the next "auction." Each player in turn must exceed his or her predecessor's play, or pass. Passing a turn will result in taking a drink. Although play may at first resemble Bullshit to the newcomer, the crucial difference is that a player is under no obligation to follow, for example, a play of a Four with a Five — he/she may skip to Six, or to a Queen, or may pass altogether, even if able to play; the choice is entirely at his or her discretion. (Furthermore, cards are played face-up, removing Bullshit's element of deception.)

Two or more cards of the same rank may be played simultaneously; usually the player announces such a move aloud: "a pair of Sixes," for example, or "three Jacks." Two basic ways of handling such combinations exist, leading to two main categories of playing rules: in one, the play must always continue upwards; once any number of Fives has been played no Four may be played until the next "auction" has begun. In the other school, any pair can beat a single card, no matter their numerical relationship; likewise triples can beat pairs and so forth. (Once triples have been introduced, of course, no pair or single card can be played again in that run.)

Depending on the variant, there are often, furthermore, special rules regarding the 2's. Sometimes, 2s have no special powers, aside from their exalted rank. More commonly, a single 2 can beat any pair (as well as any single card); a pair of 2s can beat any triple, and so forth. Finally, sometimes a single 2 is accounted powerful enough to close any run of play, even four aces need only one two to surpass them (although, if horizontal moves, as described below, are permitted, a pair of twos can beat a single two).

Examples

• Under all rules, a single 2 beats a single 10
• Under all rules, a pair of Aces beat a pair of Jacks
• According to the school which allows retrograde motion if the number of cards played increases, three Fives can beat two Nines.

Player names

The first player to run out of cards is awarded a title, such as 'President' or 'King.' The last player to run out of cards is called the 'Asshole' or 'Scum.' With an odd number of players, the middle-ranking one is often called "neutral"; with five players the heirarchy is rounded out by a 'Vice-President' or 'Queen' (gender-neutral games sometimes make Queen a female equivalent for King, depending on the player's gender, and call the second-ranking player 'Prince' or 'Princess' as appropriate), and a 'Vice-Asshole' or '2nd Scum.' (Note that 2nd Scum is a higher rank than Scum.)

Dealing

Each hand begins with the shuffled deck of cards being dealt out evenly to each of the players. Extra cards are dealt to the lowest-ranking players, or discarded. After the deal, in any hand except the first, there might be a settlement of cards depending on the players' order of finish in the last hand. The President exchanges a set number of cards (typically 1 or 2) with the Asshole. In the exchange the Asshole must give the President his highest cards (pairing need not be considered), however the President may give the Asshole any cards he likes. Other exchanges may also take place (e.g. between the Vice-President and Vice-Asshole) depending on the variant and the number of players. In some variants, players do not exchange cards at all.

Play

In the first hand, the person with the lowest card (usually the 3 of clubs) leads. In subsequent hands, the 3 of clubs may again start; or the Asshole (or in some variants the President) leads. Play then proceeds in a clockwise manner, with each player required to play a higher card or card combination than the last. A player may elect not to play, even if he is able to. The last player to play to a round leads the next round. The round is ended immediately if a Joker is played (to avoid the situation of two Jokers appearing in a single round) or depending on the variant either once all players have had a single opportunity to play or once all players have passed. At the end of each round all cards are removed from the hand and the first player to get rid of all of his cards becomes the President for the next hand. The titles Vice-President, Vice-Asshole and Asshole are also given to the players that finish second, second-last and last respectively. When there are no further cards in the hand, the next hand may be dealt. Play typically proceeds for as long as desired with no score being kept however some people prefer play to end once a pre-determined score is reached.

Scoring

Typically the game is played without scoring but often with players required to drink at the end of each hand depending on their finishing place (usually the Asshole is expected to drink the most). However a score can be kept whereby at the end of each hand the Asshole is awarded no points, the Vice-Asshole one point and so on until the President scores 1 less than the number of players. Hence the player with the most points at the end of the game wins.

Optional rules

Skip rule

When a card is played that matches the rank of the previously played card, the next player must pass. For example, if the ten of hearts is played on the ten of clubs, the next player must pass (even if he wished to play a Jack). This rule also applies when a pair is played on a pair of the same rank.

The skip rule allows one unusual situation. If only 2 players remain, skipping a player ends the round. For example, a six has just been played by player B. Player A has two sixes and a seven. Player B has an eight. Player A may now play a six, forcing player B to skip. This ends the round. Player A may start the new round by playing another six. However, this does not cause player B to skip again, because the end of the previous round removed the six from the table. Notice that player A would have been able to avoid becoming Asshole if he could force player B to skip twice.

Poker hands

In addition to playing pairs and triples, you are allowed to play a 5-card poker hand. This includes straight, flush, full house, etc. When you play 4 of a kind, you must also play any 5th card to complete the hand.

Suit ranks count

Ordinarily, the suits do not matter. Optinally, suits rank in alphabetical order, same as in Bridge. That is, from lowest to highest: clubs, diamonds, hearts and spades. So, the ten of spades may be played on the ten of diamonds, but the ten of clubs may not be played on the ten of diamonds. Of course, the jack of clubs may still be played on the ten of diamonds.

Change seats after every round

After every round, the seating changes, based on the order of finish in the prior round. The President gets the most comfortable chair. The Vice-President sits to his left, and so on, until the Asshole sits to the President's right, in the least comfortable chair. Since the President plays first, this gives a slight advantage to the players seated to the President's left

Deal all the cards

If the number of cards is not evenly divisible by the number of players, the lowest ranked players get the extra cards. For example, with 5 players and a 52 card deck, the Asshole and Vice-Asshole get 11 cards, and the other 3 players get only 10 cards.

Must match previous type

If the last person played a single card, then all plays for the rest of the round must be a single card. For example, a pair of eights may not be played on a seven. Similarly, three jacks may not be played on a pair of sixes; a player with three jacks must decide whether to split up his/her triple or not. The player who starts a new round (after all other players pass) may play anything he chooses. In next deal, President assumes the two best cards of the Asshole. The Vice President assumes the best card of the Secretary, or the second lowest positioned person at the table.

Social rule (or Socialism, or Random Socials)

This can only be used when you're playing with only a single deck. When this rule is in effect, the round can instantly be won by "socialing." Socialing is the act of playing cards out of turn in order to create a four-of-a-kind on the table. The opportunity to social is lost if higher cards are played before the opportunity is taken. Here is an example: You have two sevens, and the last two people to play each put a single seven on the table. You may then play out of turn and plonk down your two sevens. (In some circles you would be required to yell "SOCIAL!" while doing this or else it wouldn't count.) If someone else played on top of the sevens before you had the chance to social, you wouldn't be able to do it. The 'special cards' (twos, threes, jokers, or whatever you are using) cannot be socialed. Leading with a four of a kind is an instant social, so a hand with a four-of-a-kind is a good thing to be dealt.

2 Clears

One unique house rule is called 2 Clears. During any part of the game, no matter what is in play, if a player has a two, he or she may throw it down in order to end the round and start a new one.

Asshole handles cards

Only the Asshole is allowed to touch cards on the table. Of course he has to clear the table at the end of a round. If someone is touching cards at the table he has to exchange rank, place (when played with Change seats after every round) and cards with the Asshole, thus becoming the Asshole.

Last Card

When a player reaches his or her last card, he must immediately yell "last card." If they do not do that, or if someone else yells it before them, then that player is automatically the asshole for the next round. In the case where a player has a 2 and any other card, the user can put down the other card (if it can be played), and give the 2 to whom ever he or she chooses without having to yell "last card."

Presidential Rules

In some versions of Asshole the president can make up a rule at the end or winning three hands. Typically, the president is allowed to make anyone at the table drink at anytime for any given reason. Ie; if someone at the table looks at the President in a way that the President finds annoying. This rule can consist of anything the president wants. Some popular rules include:

1. Thumb Master: When the President puts his thumb on the table, the last one to do so must drink.
2. The forehead rule: Whenever the president drinks, everyone must put their forehead on the table; the last one to do so must also drink. Try to avoid concussions and bloody noses in later rounds.
3. Exemption rules: The president can make himself exempt from all future and present rules in effect.
4. The 3 D's: If the words drink, drank or drunk are used, the user must take a drink.
5. Assigning "Beer Bitch": Assign one person the job of supplying the table with cold beverages.
6. Eye contact: It is illegal to make eye contact with the president when this rule is in effect.
7. Table laps: At any time, someone with a higher rank can make a lower ranking person get up and walk a complete lap of the table.

A player is advised to be creative: any rule you come up with can be put into effect!

Related

Two commercial variations of this game have been released by Wizards of the Coast. They are titled The Great Dalmuti (1995), and Corporate Shuffle (1997), which is based on the popular comic strip Dilbert. They each consist of a larger-than-standard deck ranked such that 1 is the best, and higher-numbered cards are worse. The number on each card indicates how many there are in the deck — there is a single 1, two 2s, etc. This changes game-play slightly. For example, if a player has a set of all three 3s, it can not be beat using a set of the higher-ranking 2s, since there is only a total of two 2s in the deck.