Animorphs

This page is for quotations from the Animorphs book series, by K. A. Applegate.

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Table of contents

1 #1: The Invasion 2 #8: The Alien 3 #16: The Warning 4 #18: The Decision 5 #25: The Extreme 6 #29: The Sickness

#1: The Invasion

Jake: I think we have to head to The Gardens. We need to get some help from Mother Earth's toughest children. (to Cassie) Can you get us in?

Cassie: I can get in free. You guys will have to pay, but I can use my mom's employee discount, so it'll be cheaper.

Marco: Oh, I'm sure we could talk them into letting us in for nothing. Just tell them we're Animorphs.

Rachel: Tell them we're what?

Marco: Idiot teenagers with a death wish.

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Tobias: They'll come. The Andalites will come. And until then...

Jake: Yeah. Until then, we fight.

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#8: The Alien

Marco: Okay, look, you wait right there by that table. Don't go anywhere. If my dad comes in and talks to you, just say 'yes' and 'no.' Got it? Yes and no answers only. I'll run up to my room. I'm gonna call one of the others to meet us at the bookstore. You're already driving me nuts.

Ax: (fiddles with Marco's father's computer, thinking it's a game) I win.

Marco's father: Hello?

Ax: No.

Marco's father: I'm Marco's dad. Are you a friend of his?

Ax: Yes.

Marco's father: What's your name?

Ax: No.

Marco's father: Your name is 'No'?

Ax: Yes.

Marco's father: That's an unusual name isn't it?

Ax: No.

Marco's father: It's not?

Ax: Yes.

Marco's father: Yes, it's not an unusual name?

Ax: No.

Marco's father: Now I'm totally confused.

Ax: Yes.

Marco's father: Hey, Marco? Marco? Would you ... um ... your friend is here. Your friend 'No' is here.

Ax: No.

Marco's father: Yes, that's what I said.

Marco: Whoa! Um, Dad! You met my friend?

Marco's father: No?

Marco: What?

Marco's father: I must be getting old. I don't understand you kids.

Ax: Yes.

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#16: The Warning

WAA tour guide: And this is our founder, Joe Bob Fenestre. Later we'll show a short, entertaining film about the fascinating life of Mr. Fenestre.

(Marco pretends to worship painting of Mr. Fenestre)

Rachel: Hey, the idea is not to attract attention, genius.

Marco: I'm sorry. This is Joe Bob Fenestre. I love Joe Bob. I admire Joe Bob. I want to be Joe Bob.

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#18: The Decision

Ax: Hello. I will work for money. Muh-nee. Mnee.

Cinnabon worker: Do you want to order something?

Ax: I require money so that I may exchange it for the delicious cinnamon buns.

Cinnabon worker: So ... you do want to order, or you don't?

Ax: I wish to perform labor, lay-ber, lay-burrr, and to have you give me money. Then I wish to use that money to acquire delicious cinnamon buns. Bun-zuh.

Cinnabon worker: I'll get the manager.

Ax: Bun-zuh.

Cinnabon manager: Well, I can't give you a job. I think you're under age. But I guess if you're hungry I could have you clear some of those tables and give you some food. (to the worker) Poor kid. A little off in the head, maybe. But a good-looking boy.

Ax: (to Cinnabon customers) I am clearing these tables!

Cinnabon customers: We haven't even eaten yet.

Ax: Good. (grabs cinnamon buns and carries them away)

Cinnabon customers: Hey! Hey, stop!

(Ax begins to shove first bun into his mouth)

Cinnabon manager: What are you doing?

Ax: I amm glearing khe khables.

Cinnabon manager: (to the customers) I am terribly sorry. I'll get you two fresh buns. (to Ax) And you, come with me. Okay, now look, son, if you're that desperate for food, there's a tray of buns here that are just a bit stale. You can help yourself. You poor kid.

Ax: For me?

Cinnabon manager: Sure, son. Go ahead and have one.

(later)

Marco: So there I am. Cruising through the food court, minding my own business, thinking, Hey, why not snag a taco? when I notice the paramedics and this crowd all gathered around the Cinnabon. And I swear, it was like this sudden, psychic feeling. I knew, I mean, I knew somehow the Ax-man was involved. So I go over and ask someone in the crowd what's happening. And she says --

Rachel: She? Let me guess. Some good looking girl who normally would never even talk to you? But you figured since there's a medical emergency that would be a good time to hit on her?

Marco: Exactly. Anyway she tells me, 'Some kid went crazy and ate an entire pan of cinnamon buns.' Now, who I ask you all, who do we know who would eat an entire pan of cinnamon buns?

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#25: The Extreme

Marco: Say, Rachel, I got a joke for you.

Rachel: No you don't.

Marco: Two blonds are standing across the river from one another ...

Tobias: Hey. Remember, I'm a blond, too. It may be dirty-blond, but it's blond.

Marco: Yeah, for a couple of hours a week. Anyway, the one blond calls out to the other blond, "How do I get to the other side?"

Ax: That is very funny, Marco.

Marco: I haven't told the punch line yet, Ax. And the blond across the river calls back to her, "You ARE on the other side!"

Rachel: That does it. Time for Plan B.

Tobias: I've heard that one before.

Ax: I am afraid I do not understand.

Marco: Tobias, where exactly did you hear that joke before? A sparrow, an owl, and you, hanging out and swapping stories?

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#29: The Sickness

Rachel: So, Cassie, here's your choice. If you were on a desert island, who would you want to be with you -- Baby Spice or Marco?

Cassie: Huh?

Rachel: It's the desert island game. You pick two annoying people. Then you have to choose which of them you'd rather be on a desert island with.

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Marco: Ax-man, someone is checking you out.

Tobias: No way. She's looking at me.

Rachel: Uh-huh. Maybe after the dance you could take her back to your tree.

Tobias: Hey, the chicks go wild for the feathers, bay-beee. Sorry. Ax had Austin Powers on his TV last night.

Ax: Checking me out? What does that mean?

Marco: It means that girl over there is warm for your form. It means she wants your body.

Ax: My bod-deee? Body, body, bawd-eee?

Marco: She's making her move. Although if you want to get rid of her just try saying 'bod-eee' like that a few times.

Ax: Buh-dee. B-dee.

Allison: Hi. I wanted to know if you, you know, want to dance?

Ax: I would like to shuffle my artificial hooves to the music with you. But you cannot have my body. My bod. Dee. My bo. Dee.

Allison: Ah. Oh. You know what? I hear my friend calling me.

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Jake: Wow. Man, my mind is gone. This sucks. Like the flu. That's how it feels. Like I have to ... (heaves)

Marco: Like you have to chuck? ... You ever notice how many different ways there are to say 'throwing up'? There's vomiting, of course. Hurling. Tossing your cookies. Puking, a classic. Ralphing. There's cascading. But I prefer the terms that are more real. Like blowing chunks. Spewing your guts. Tangoing with the toilet. That's a good one. Technicolor yawn.

(Jake staggers over to the curb, and -- fill in your favorite term for puking here.)