Dave Chappelle

Dave Chappelle (born 1972)

American comedian

The Ghetto

• I spoke at my old high school and I told them kids, straight up- if you guys are serious about makin' it out of this ghetto... You gotta focus. You gotta stop blamin' white people for your problems, and you gotta' learn... how to rap or play basketball or somethin'.

• I started lookin out the window, gun store, liquor store, gun store, gun store, liquor store. Where the fuck you taking me!

• (imitating holding a gun) Now...one of you is going to tip me. (referring to his days as a Washington DC pizza delivery boy)

Chappelle's Show

• "You ever tasted dog food? It tastes just like it smells...DELICIOUS!" (as Tyrone Biggums)

• "I'm Rick James, bitch!" (as Rick James)

• "And we used to laugh and giggle and eat all the cookies, it was TERRIBLE...TERRIBLE!"

• "Remember, you graduated from grade school and you don't need to take shit from anyone!"

• "What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAP!" (as Rick James)