- Joel: Sand is overrated. It's just tiny, little rocks.
- Joel: Why do I fall in love with every woman I see that shows me the least bit of attention?
- Clementine: Drink up young man. It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.
- Joel: Valentine's Day is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.
- Clementine: You're not a stalker or anything, right?
Joel: I'm not a stalker. YOU'RE the one that talked to me, remember?
Clementine: That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.
Joel: Really? There's a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one.
- Joel: This beach is goddamn freezing.
- Rob: I'm building a bird house.
- Joel: This is working like gangbusters!
- Joel: Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.
- Clementine: Joel, I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours.
Joel: I remember that speech really well.
Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Probably.
Joel: I still thought you were going to save me. Even after that.
- Mary (quoting Alexander Pope):
- "How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd"
- Joel: "Are we like those bored couples you feel sorry for in restaurants? Are we the dining dead?"
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