Glen Quagmire

Glen Quagmire , character in the animated televison series, Family Guy

• Alllll Right.
• Giggidy giggidy giggidy!
• I felt guilty once...but she woke up half way through.
• Wait, hold the phone, you took me away from a Swedish girly girl and her paralyzed but trusting cousin for this?
• (While talking to two women at a lesbian bar) So, you ladies ever been penetrated?
• Face it Peter, you're an easy mark. You couldn't be more of a sucker if you were wrapped in plastic with a stick coming out of your ass.
• Well hello lips, legs, breasts, and ass!
• Let's blow this sausage fest and hit the international house of tail.
• Hey, Pedro, we're heading down to The Drunken Clam for a couple of beers, and I'm gonna shake the lady tree and see what falls out.
• Here's to The Drunken Clam, boys, where they don't ask for proof of age and neither do I!
• Hey ladies, I don't want to come between you... or do I?
• Hey baby, are you a parking ticket? Because you got fine written all over you.
• If I could rearrange the dictionary I'd put U and I together.
• (On walking in on a nude Peter and Lois) Hey Peter, LoiswhoaaaAAAHHHH! ...you guys got a towel?
• (On answering the door almost naked) Hey, sorry Lois. I didn't mean to point.
• (On finding a cheerleader tied up in the mens' bathroom) Dear Diary...Jackpot!
• What's all the noise, Boys?, I was just jerk....ed out of a sound sleep.
• (When talking to somebody he thought was a woman) Quagmire: WHOA! Transvestite ! BACK OFF! (suddenly calm) Wait a minute, pre-op or post-op?. Other person: Pre-op. Quagmire: WHOA! Transvestite! BACK OFF!
• (Sitting on his couch with a woman having drinks; a large red-tipped missile crashes through the ceiling - he points at it) To answer your question, something like that.