Marriage

Sourced

• " [A] husband who can cook is not at all the same thing as a husband who can shop, prepare, and assemble ingredients, and clean up the mess after the great burst of creativity."
  • Mary-Jo Fitzgerald, Marriage and the male animal

• Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
  Homer: Yup, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.
  • The Simpsons

• "Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
  • Huey P. Long

• "A marriage so free, so spontaneous, that it would allow of wide excursions of the pair from each other, in common or even in separate objects of work and interest, and yet would hold them all the time in the bond of absolute sympathy, would by its very freedom be all the more poignantly attractive, and by its very scope and breadth all the richer and more vital -- would be in a sense indestructible."
  • Edward Carpenter, Love's Coming of Age

• "Marriage is wonderful when it lasts forever, and I envy the old couples in When Harry Met Sally who reminisce tearfully about the day they met 50 years before. I no longer believe, however, that a marriage is a failure if it doesn't last forever. It may be a tragedy, but it is not necessarily a failure. And when a marriage does last forever with love alive, it is a miracle."
  • Peggy O'Mara, Mothering, Fall 1989

• "Marriage: A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two."
  • Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"Your either married or happy but rarely both"

Attributed

• "You only know what happiness is once you're married. But then it's too late." ~Peter Sellers

Unknown / Anonymous

• "It is possible to affirm God's desire for committed, long-lasting intimate relationship without concluding that every marriage is ordained by God."
  • (origin needed)

• Before marriage, boys will be boys and girls will be virgins. After marriage, boys will be boys and girls will be faithful.