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My Cousin Vinny
My Cousin Vinny is a 1992 film about a street-smart but inexperienced lawyer from Brooklyn defending his cousin in a murder case in Alabama.
- Directed by Jonathan Lynn . Written by Dale Launer .
- Starring Joe Pesci , Marisa Tomei , Ralph Macchio , and Fred Gwynne .
Quotes
- Vinny: Stan, you're in Ala-fuckin-bama. You killed a good-ol-boy. There is no WAY this is not going to trial!
- Stan: What's the matter?
- Bill: Do you know what this is all about?
- Stan: Yeah, they're fucking with us.
- Bill: And you don't believe that?
- Stan: No, they don't execute for shoplifting.
- Bill: You think we're being booked for shoplifting?
- Stan: No, no. You're being booked for shoplifting, I'm being booked for accessory to shoplifting.
- Bill: No, Stan, I'm being booked for murder, and you're being booked for accessory to murder.
- Officer: That's death row in there.
- Stan: It is?
- Officer: The chair ain't workin' like it used to. The guy we fried last week, took us three attempts, and his head caught on fire. See, there's no money in the budget to get it looked at. I said it'd be cheaper to get it fixed than keep running up them extra electric bills.
- Vinny: Is that a drip I hear?
- Mona Lisa: Yeah.
- Vinny: Weren't you the last one to use the bathroom?
- Mona Lisa: So?
- Vinny: Well, did you use the faucet?
- Mona Lisa: Yeah!
- Vinny: Why didn't you turn it off?
- Mona Lisa: I did turn it off.
- Vinny: Well, if you turned it off, why am I listening to it?
- Mona Lisa: Did it ever occur to you that it could be turned off and drip at the same time?
- Vinny: No, because if you turned it off, it wouldn't drip.
- Mona Lisa: Maybe it's broken!
- Vinny: Is that what you're saying? It's broken?
- Mona Lisa: Yeah, that's it, it's broken.
- Vinny: You sure?
- Mona Lisa: I'm positive.
- Vinny: Maybe you didn't twist it hard enough.
- Mona Lisa: I twisted it just right.
- Vinny: How can you be so sure?
- Mona Lisa: If you will look in the manual, you will see that this particular model faucet requires a range of 10-16 foot pounds of torque. I routinely twist the maximum allowable torquage.
- Vinny: How can you be sure you used 16 foot pounds of torque?
- Mona Lisa: Because I used a Craftsman model 1019 Laboratory edition, signature series torque wrench. The kind used by Cal Tech High Energy physicists, and NASA engineers.
- Vinny: In that case, how can you be sure THAT'S accurate?
- Mona Lisa: Because a split second before the torque wrench was applied to the faucet handle, it had been calibrated by top members of the state and federal Departments of Weights and Measures, to be dead-on balls accurate. Here's the certificate of validation!
- Vinny: "Dead-on balls accurate"?
- Mona Lisa: Yeah. It's an industry term.
- Vinny: I guess the fuckin' thing is broken!
- [Stan thinks Vinny, his attorney, is a new cellmate intent on sex.]
- Vinny: What's the matter? Relax. Relax. You know, maybe we should spend a couple of minutes, you know, to get aquainted before, we, you know, get to it. What's wrong with you?
- Stan: I don't want to do this!
- Vinny: I understand, but, you know, what are your alternatives?
- Stan: My alternatives?
- Vinny: Yeah!
- Stan: To what? To you? I dunno. Suicide. Death.
- Vinny: Look, it's either me or them. You're getting fucked one way or the other!
- [Vinny is trying to dress properly for a hunting trip.]
- Vinny: What about these pants I got on? You think they're okay? Oh!
- Mona Lisa: Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the clear blue water... BAM! A FUCKIN' BULLET RIPS OFF PART OF YOUR HEAD! YOUR BRAINS ARE LAYIN' ON THE GROUND IN LITTLE BLOODY PIECES. Now, I ax ya. Would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?
- Bill: Vinny!
- Vinny: What?
- Bill: C'mon! It's time to make your opening statement. C'mon, Vin!
- Vinny: Uh, everything that guy just said is bullshit. Thank you.
Cast
- Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
- Marisa Tomei - Mona Lisa Vito
- Ralph Macchio - Bill Gambini
- Mitchell Whitfield - Stan Rothstein
- Fred Gwynne - Judge Chamberlain Haller
- Lane Smith - D.A. Tim Trotter
- Bruce McGill - Sheriff Farley
External links
- My Cousin Vinny at imdb
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