Queen of Wands

Queen of Wands webcomic

• Felix: "Aigh!!! Brian! Oh my God! Mister Copier and Miss Folding Machine are having all sorts of illicit non-family oriented obscene hanky panky and there are thousands of little baby paper clips orphaned over there without a home! They must be stopped, for the good of population control!" [1]
• Kestrel: "I need you to remove my uterus, and thus guarantee that I do not produce any hellspawn." [2]
• Felix: "Honey! Honey! We've got cable in the bathroom now!" [3]
• Kestrel: "Shannon! I broke your husband again!" [4]
• Kestrel: "I kind of have a theory. People are people. They fuck up. It's human nature to fuck things up horribly. And we do, constantly. Day in, day out, it's just one fuck up after another, really. But there's this thing we do, called 'growing up' — I still haven't quite got that thing, not just yet. And this other thing we do. It's called 'forgive.' We don't know why, we just do." [5]
• Kestrel: "Hang on a second, I need to make my eyes revert to normal. Also to do the happy squirmy puppy dance." [6]
• Shannon: "It's like I'm in a Greenpeace sponsored bukkake tree porn flick, and I'm the chick tied helplessly to the chair in the center of the room being hosed down with tree semen." [7]
• Kestrel: "I firmly believe all animals should be named after sound effects." [8]
• Girl: "Mister Darwin! The stupid people are breeding and taking over the planet!" — Charles Darwin: "Tut tut, little girl, don't worry! I'll take care of them with my CHAINSAW OF NATURAL SELECTION! Ahahahahahhaha!!!!!!" [9]
• Kestrel: "...soooo the contents of my uterus are inversely proportional to my sanity. Good to know." [10]
• Kestrel: "Whump!" [11]