|
Reno 911
Reno 911 (2003-?) by Danny DeVito and others.
Season 1 Quotes
- Officer Garcia has been shot
- Deputy James Garcia: Oh, God, call for help.
- Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Help. Help.
- Deputy James Garcia: Use your goddamn radio.
- Deputy Raineesha Williams: White people are crazy.
- Deputy Raineesha Williams: Huh? Huh?!
- Deputy Raineesha Williams: Ya know what I'm sayin'?
- Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Lt. Dangle and I have a very special relationship. We're like a brother and sister... except a brother and sister who have sex.
- Deputy Jones: Ok, let me tell you... D.T.A.M.S: Don't take another motherfucking step.
- Deputy Trudy Wiegel: What's that, Ter?
- Terry: Mexican werewolves are coming up from Mexico and selling crack.
- Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Hey Terry, Sherrifs Department!
- Terry: Hey Guys!
- Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Heyy.
- Terry: Whats goin down?
- Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Well, I'll tell ya whats goin down Terry, You know that they've installed a camera right here at this redlight here.
- Terry: Oh My god!
- Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Yeah, and it takes a picture whenever someone runs a redlight.
- Terry: Oh wow that's awesome, It's like the future is here.
- Lieutenant Jim Dangle: It is awesome.
- Deputy Travis Junior: So you know why we're here?
- Terry: Why was there a fire?
- Lieutenant Jim Dangle: You've been chargin' three bucks, you run up when the car is at a red light, and you give a H.J. during the redlight.
- Terry: Oh my god, that sounds, that's not something that I would ever do.
- Deputy Travis Junior: Except we've got about...
- Lieutenant Jim Dangle: We got about 38 photos of you and that's only last night.
- Terry: Well, I can see how you would think that, But I sell... oranges.
- Deputy Travis Junior: You sell oranges?
- Lieutenant Jim Dangle: You sell oranges?
- Terry: Mmhm!
- Lieutenant Jim Dangle: I'll take some.
- Deputy Travis Junior: Yeah, I'd like some too.
- Terry: I've sold out, I've sold out of my oranges... I run out and people are like Beep Beep, I go okay, and say you're driving and I just put it in their laps.
- Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Well...
- Deputy Junior: I dont know about that.
- Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Come on Terry.
- Terry: I cant, I have to call my girlfriend... listen I don't even know what you're talking about.
- Begins tugging Terry away on his roller skates
- Deputy Travis Junior: We're talking about you giving hand jobs at three bucks a pop at this redlight up here that's what we're talking about.
- Terry: Okay okay, a hand job is still a job okay?
- Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Come on easy does it, Xanadu it right into the car.
- Terry: You Xana-Don't it!
- Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Did he just say "Xana-Don't it?"
- talking to a junior high class
- Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Now, I don't care if you wear mini-skirts. I don't care if you wear Dungarees. I don't care if you're good at basketball, I don't care if you're fun to be around. But you can rest assured that every one of you, at some point, is going to be raped.
- Deputy Garcia: Criminals are the vomit of society and we are the sawdust.
- Deputy James Garcia: God vomited and there was Jackie.
- Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Raineesha Williams is a loudmouth, backstabbing, Jew. I wanna say Jew but I think she's in fact very openly Catholic, which I have a problem with, too.
See also
External links
|
|
