Rick Mercer

Rick Mercer (1969-)

Canadian comedian

• The ozone hole over the Antarctic may soon set the record as being the world's biggest. This is the first year that the world's biggest hole will not be a head of state.

• The US is our neighbour, our ally, our trading partner, and our friend, and sometimes we'd like to give them such a smack.

• [on Canada and the US] We're bigger, and we're on top. If this was prison, they would be our bitch.

• Canada's treasury board has just published the results of a $1.5 million survey on public service morale. The results indicate that 90 percent of federal public servants like their jobs, while 20 percent report being harrased on the job. Which means...10 percent, don't mind a bit.

• Here's to democracy. May we get the government we deserve.

• At this time, we need to look to Canada's poets for inspiration. And when we think Canada, when we think poets, we all think... Trooper! [followed by footage of Canadian politicians singing along to "Raise A Little Hell"]

• [Rick Mercer's Monday Report opening] Good Evening, I'm Rick Mercer and this is Monday Report.

• "Sometimes airlines die and go to heaven ..." [March 21, 2005 Airline failures sketch]

• "Some people say the glass is half full. Others say it's half empty. George W Bush says 'it's my glass. Step away from my glass, or I'll break it and cut you with the glass'. George W. Bush... he'll cut ya" [in a parady of pro-Bush advertisement]

• [Rick Mercer's Monday Report ending] And that's Monday Report!

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