Seinfeld

Seinfeld is a television sitcom , considered to be one of the most popular and influential of the 1990s in the U.S. [1]

Table of contents

1 Jerry Seinfeld 2 Cosmo Kramer 3 George Costanza 4 Elaine Benes 1 Unsorted Quotes 2 Cast 3 External links

Jerry Seinfeld

• "He's a re-gifter and a de-gifter and now he's using an upstairs invite to springboard into a Super Bowl sex romp!" [Jerry referring to dentist Tim Whatley]

• "Hello, Newman..."

• "Another year, how little we've grown. Happy birthday? There's no such thing." == Following George's instruction not to be funny, so as to not show him up in front of his date.
• "You know, when you read Moby Dick the second time Ahab and the whale become good friends."
• "Because it's a little mint. It's a Junior Mint."
• "See you in the cafeteria!" [Final line in the series finale]

Cosmo Kramer

• "These pretzels are making me thirsty."

• "I'm Dangerous Jerry! I'm Very Very Dangerous!"

• "We're just gonna put a little concrete in the washing machine "

• "This Cantaloupe sucks, Jerry it's terrible, you should take this back "

• "Well I'm OUT!" Kramer is No master of his domain....

• "I snuck a peek."

• "Giddy up."

• "Why don't you want to wear the ribbon?" - random guy
  "Why should I?" - Kramer
  "You have to, everyone is." - random guy
  "That's why I don't want to." - Kramer
• "Up here, I'm already gone"

• "Look at me Jerry, I'm hideous."
• "The Ukraine is weak my friend."

• "Oh, they dig! They...they test."

• "Gold Jerry, gold!"

• "Titleist?"

• "Oh my papaya!"

George Costanza

• "I always get the feeling that when lesbians look at me, they're thinking, 'That's why I'm not a heterosexual.'"

• "I'm Costanza, Lord of the Idiots." Woman, to marathon runners: "You're all winners!" George: But a new contestant appears.

• "For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots"

• "The sea was angry that day my friend, like an old man trying to return soup at a deli."

• "There is Relationship George, and there is Independent George...you are killing Independent George!"

• "A George divided against itself... cannot stand!"

• "SAY VANDELAY! SAY VANDELAY!!!!!" [George yells at Kramer, running out of the bathroom in his underpants, and falls on the floor as Jerry walks in]
  Jerry: "And you wanted to be my latex salesman."

• "I've Driven Women to Lesbianism before, but never to a mental institution."

• "TWIIIIIIIIIX!" -- Upon losing many Twix candy bars that he had set up for over an hour.

• "It's about NOTHING"-George, commenting on both the TV show he wants to create, and on the show Seinfeld itself.

• "Mulva?"

• "I'm a porn star. My name is Buck Naked."

• "I'm an architect."

• "I'm a marine biologist."

Elaine Benes

• "David, I'm going to hell! The worst place in the world! With devils and those caves and the ragged clothing! And the heat! My god, the heat! I mean, what do you think about all that?"

• " GET...OUT!"

• "...that's because I'm GOOD!!!" ==on faking orgasms.

• " It shrinks?"

• "I just love meeting new people. You know that's how you really do learn about life."

From The Good Samaritan episode

• "For I have seen the nipple of your soul!"

• "IT'S BROWN!"

Unsorted Quotes

• "Let's just replace 'hail of shrapnel' and 'scar tissue' with 'string of pearls' and 'raspberry scones'."

• "We're not gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that" -- George Costanza and Jerry Seinfeld

• "You're black. You said we were an interracial couple."
  "We are. Because you're Hispanic."
  "I am?"
  "Aren't you?"
  "No. Why would you think that?"
  "Your name's Benes, your hair, and you kept taking me to those Spanish restaurants."
  "That's because I thought you were black."
  "Why would you take me to a Spanish restaurant because I'm black?"
  "I don't think we should be talking about this."
  "So, what are you?"
  "I'm white."
  "So, we're just a couple of boring white people?"
  "I guess."
  "Oh."
  "Yeah. So do you want to go to the Gap?"
  "Sure."

• "That's totally inappropriate. It's lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous!" - Jackie Chiles

• "You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn't tell you to put the balm on. Why'd you put the balm on? You haven't even been to see the doctor. If your gonna put a balm on, let a doctor put a balm on." - Jackie Chiles

• "A loathsome offensive brute, yet I can't take my eyes away." Old man speaking about portrait of Kramer

• "When you control the mail, you control information." - Newman

• "And then something happened that changed us in a very deep and profound way." "Well, what happened?" "He spat on us."-Kramer and Elaine

• "It's a Festivus for the rest of us." - Frank Costanza

• "Stop crying and fight your father!" - Frank Costanza

• "High five... On the flip side!" - David Puddy

• "NO SOUP FOR YOU!" - The Soup Nazi

• "You're pushing your luck little man."- The Soup Nazi to George

• "Cant-stand-ya!" -George's old gym coach

• "Mr. Peterman, you speak Burmese?"
  "No Elaine, that was gibberish"

• "Serenity now, insanity later" - Lloyd Braun

Cast

Jerry Seinfeld - Jerry Seinfeld

Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Elaine Benes

Michael Richards - Cosmo Kramer

Jason Alexander - George Costanza

...

Larry David - Created by

External links

• "Seinfeld" Quotes
• "Seinfeld" Scripts