Table of contents

1 Shrek 1.1 Shrek 1.2 Donkey 1.3 Other 2 Shrek 2 2.1 Donkey 2.2 Others

Shrek

Shrek

• "Oh no, dead broad off the table!"

• Shrek: "Does anyone know where this Farquaad guy is?"
  [Donkey jumps up and down, shouting out like a young child]
  Donkey: "Oh, I know. I know where he is."
  Shrek: "Does anyone else know where to find him?"
  Donkey: "Pick me! Pick me! Me! Me!"

• Shrek: "Ogres are like onions."
  Donkey: "They stink?"
  Shrek: "Yes. NO!"
  Donkey: "Oh, they make you cry."
  Shrek: "No."
  Donkey: "Oh, you leave em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs."
  Shrek: "NO. Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers." [sighs]
  Donkey: "Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. How about parfait? E'ybody likes parfait. You ever asked someone out for some parfait and they say 'Hell naw. I don't like no damn parfait!'?"

• Shrek: "Go over there and see if you can find any stairs."
  Donkey: "Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the Princess."
  Shrek: "The Princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower."
  Donkey: "How do you know that?"
  Shrek: "I read it in a book once."

• Donkey: "So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?"
  Shrek: "In the tower, waiting for us to rescue her."
  Donkey: "I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek."

• Fiona: "You didn't slay the dragon?"
  Shrek: "It's on my to-do list."

• "Shrek (to fiona): I've Got to go and save my ass.

• Princess Fiona: " But how would you kiss me?"
  Shrek: "What? That wasn't in the job description!"

Donkey

• "That's right, I'm a flying talking donkey."

• "You mighta seen a house fly, maybe even a superfly, but you ain't never seen a donkey fly"

• Puppets at the Information Center [Singing]: "Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town
  Here we have some rules, let us lay them down
  Don't make waves, stay in line
  And we'll get along fine
  Duloc is a perfect place
  Please keep off of the grass
  Shine your shoes, wipe your... FACE!
  Duloc is, Duloc is, Duloc is a perfect... place!"
  Donkey: "WOW!!! Let's do that again!!"

• "You hear that? She called me a noble steed."

• "Blue flowers, red thorns, blue flowers, red thorns ... This would be so much easier if I wasn't colorblind!"

• Princess Fiona: [as ogre] "Donkey, shh, shh it's me... in this body."
  Donkey: [gasps] "YOU ATE THE PRINCESS?"

• "Alright Shrek, no one likes a kiss-ass."

• "This'll be great. We can stay up late swapping manly stories and then in the morning...I'm making WAFFLES."

• "Whoa! Look at that! Who'd wanna live in a place like that?
  Shrek: "That would be my home."
  Donkey: "Oh and it is LOVELY! You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget! I like that boulder. That is a NICE boulder."
• "You're so wrapped up in layers onion boy, your afraid of your own feelings"

• "Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! I DON'T HAVE ANY TOES!!!"

Other

• Gingerbread Man: "Alright. Do you know... the muffin man?"
  Lord Farquaad: "The muffin man?"
  Gingerbread Man: "The muffin man."
  Lord Farquaad: "Yes, I know the muffin man. Who lives on Drury Lane?"
  Gingerbread Man: "She's married to the muffin man..."
  Lord Farquaad: "The muffin man?"
  Gingerbread Man: "THE MUFFIN MAN."
  Lord Farquaad: "She's married to the muffin man."

• Lord Farquaad: "Tell me where are the others."
  Gingerbread Man: "Eat me."

Shrek 2

Donkey

• "I'm melting!!!"
• "Donkey, youre a..."

"A stallion baby! I can whinny! (Whinnies) "I can count!" (taps hoof) (Starts trotting) "Look Shrek, I'm trotting."

Others

• Princess Fiona: Shrek?
  Puss in Boots: For you, babe, I could be.