Shrek 2

• Prince Charming: "Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and throughout the land, everyone was happy... until the sun went down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming. It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert, traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the dragon's keep. For he was the bravest—and most handsome—in all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to the princess' chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to reveal her..."
  Big Bad Wolf: "What?"
  Prince Charming: "Princess... Fiona?"
  Big Bad Wolf: "No!"
  Prince Charming: "Oh, thank heavens. Where is she?"
  Big Bad Wolf: "She's on her honeymoon."
  Prince Charming: "Honeymoon? With whom?"
• Shrek: "Donkey!"
  Donkey: "Yes, roomie?"
  Shrek: "You're bothering me."
• Donkey: "Are we there yet?"
  Shrek: "Yes."
  Donkey: "Really?"
  Shrek: "NOOOO!"
• Donkey: "It's gonna be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on!"
• Shrek: "We are definitely not in the swamp anymore."
• Queen: "It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. Harold!"
  Fiona: "Shrek!"
  Shrek: "Fiona!"
  King: "Fiona!"
  Fiona: "Mom!"
  Queen: "Harold!"
  Donkey: "Donkey!"
• Donkey: "Oh! You got a puppy?! All I got in my room was shampoo."
• King: "Is that you? My gosh, it's been years! When did you get back?"
  Prince Charming: "Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. After I endured blistering winds and scorching desert, I climbed to the highest room of the tallest tower..."
  Fairy Godmother: "Tut, tut, tut. Mummy can handle this. He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower, and what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess is already married!"
• King: "You see, I need to have someone taken care of."
  Ugly Step-sister: "Who's the guy?"
  King: "Well, he's not a guy, per se. Um... he's an ogre!"
• Puss in Boots: "Who dares enter my room?"
• Shrek: "Well, well, well, Donkey. I know it was kind of a tender moment back there, but the purring???"
  Donkey: "What are you talking about? I ain't purring."
  Shrek: "Oh, sure. What's next? A hug?"
• Donkey: "Did I miss?"
  Shrek: "No, you got them."
• Puss in Boots: "STOP Ogre! I have misjudged you."
  Shrek: "Join the club, we have jackets."
• Donkey: "I'm sorry, the position of the annoying, talking animal has already been taken."
• Fairy Godmother: "A drop of desire... Oohoohoo, naughty! A pinch of passion... and just a hint of... lust!"
  Shrek: "Excuse me. Sorry to barge in like this, but..."
  Fairy Godmother: "What in Grimm's name are you doing here?!"
• Fairy Godmother: "No, no, no, no.... You see, ogres don't live happily ever after."
  Shrek: "All right, look, lady!"
  Fairy Godmother: "Don't you point... those dirty green sausages at me!"
• Shrek: "TGIF, eh, buddy? Workin' hard or hardly workin', eh Mac?"
• Donkey: "Hey man, you wanna get your fine Corinthian footwear and your cat cheeks out of my face? Man, it stinks!"
  Puss in Boots: "Well, you don't exactly smell like a basket of roses."
• Donkey: "Woah woah woah, if we need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call"
• Prince Charming: "Mother!"
  Fairy Godmother: "Charming, sweetheart! This isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working."
  Prince Charming: "Whoa, what happened here?"
  Fairy Godmother: "The ogre, that's what!"
  Prince Charming: "What? Where is he, Mum? I shall rend his head from his shoulders! I will smite him where he stands! He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me!"
  Fairy Godmother: "Oh, put it away, Junior! You're still gonna be king."
• Donkey: "I'm melting! I'M MELTING!!"
  Shrek: "It's just the rain, Donkey."
• Donkey: "Theeee sun will come out...tomorrow. Bet your bottom..."
  Shrek: "Bet my bottom?"
• Shrek: "A cute, button nose...thick wavey locks...taut, round buttocks..."
• Donkey: "Trot, trot, trottin' in place...YEAH! ...what?"
• Fiona: "Shrek?"
  Puss in Boots: "For you baby, ...I could be."
• Puss in Boots: "I hate Mondays."
• Donkey: "Is he really that good looking?
  Ugly Step-sister: "Are you kiddin'? He's gorgeous. He has a face that looks like that it was carved by angels."
  Puss in Boots: "Mmmm, he sounds dreamy"
• Gingerbread Man: "Well, folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick"
• Shrek: "Do you still know the muffin man?"
  Gingerbread Man: "He's down on Drury Lane. Why?"
  Shrek: "Because we're gonna need flour. Lots and lots of flour."
  Muffin Man: "Gingy!"
  Gingerbread Man: "Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We've got a big order to fill! IT'S ALIIIIVE!"
• Shrek: "No, no, no, no, no you great, stupid pastry! Come on!"
• Gingerbread Man: "Not the gumdrop button!"
• Knight: "More heat, less foam!"
• Gingerbread Man: "Look out!"
  Mongo: "Be good."
• Puss in Boots: "Go! Your lady needs you. Go! Today, I repay my debt."
  Knights: "Awwwwwwww"
  Puss in Boots: "EN GARDE!"
• Fairy Godmother: "I TOLD YOU! OGRES DON'T LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!
• Pig: "I see London, I see France, ..."
• Pinocchio: "I'm a real boyyyyy..."
• Donkey: "Pray for mercy from Puss..."
  Puss in Boots: "...and Donkey!"
• Puss in Boots: "Whatever happens, I must not cry. You cannot make me cry."
• Puss in Boots: "Hey?! Isn't we supposed to be having a....FIESTA?!"