Spike Milligan

Spike Milligan (1918 - 2002 ) Comedian , novelist , poet , jazz musician (trumpet and guitar ). While producing a prodigous number of books, he remains most famous as the principal writer and voice behind many of the characters on the Goon Show .

Table of contents

1 On Life 2 On Death 3 In Poetry 4 On being Irish 5 On being Scottish 6 On Royalty

On Life

• "When I look back, the fondest memory I have is not really of the Goons. It is of a girl called Julia with enormous breasts."

• "Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light"

• "Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery"

• "Money can't buy you friends, but you do get a better class of enemy"

On Death

• "I told you I was ill!"
  • his epitaph . On his tombstone this is rendered in Irish: "Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite."

• "I hope you go before me because I don’t want you singing at my funeral"
  • in a Fax to Harry Secombe. Harry did go before Spike, but Harry Secombe sung at Spike's funeral from a recording

In Poetry

• "The boy stood on the burning deck, whence all but he had fled. Twit"

On being Irish

• "I'm fucking Irish"
  • when a fan asked him for the autograph of the funniest Englishman ever

On being Scottish

• "Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order."

On Royalty

Prince Charles was a childhood fan of the Goons. He and Spike became good friends, and remained so despite Spike being Spike.

• "Oh, the little grovelling bastard"
  • response at the British Comedy Awards in 1994 after the reading of a letter from Prince Charles congratulating him on his Lifetime Achievement Award

• "I suppose a Knighthood is out of the question then?"
  • FAX to Prince Charles shortly afterwards

• "I can't see the sense in it really. It makes me a Commander of the British Empire. They might as well make me a Commander of Milton Keynes - at least that exists."
  • upon receiving his Knighthood (seemed the FAX worked!)