SpongeBob SquarePants

Quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

Table of contents

1 SpongeBob SquarePants 2 Patrick Star 3 Squidward Tentacles 4 Sandy Cheeks 5 Plankton 6 Gary the Snail 7 Bikini Bottom National Anthem

SpongeBob SquarePants

• [First words] "May I take your order?"
• [As he jogs to work]
  "I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!"
• "Water would be nice."
• Mr. Krabs: "SpongeBob, maybe you should take the day off."
  SpongeBob: "Okay, I just need a good... AHHH! MR. KRABS, THE DOOR HAS DISAPPEARED!"
  [Spongebob runs to window. Mr. Krabs shows him the door.]
  SpongeBob: "Thanks. Uh, Mr. Krabs, where do I live?"
• "The sign says kitchen, but my heart says jail."
• "Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring it around town!"
• "Oh, barnacles!"
• "Aw, tartar sauce!"
• [Tripping over shoelaces on each painful "OY!"]
  "I'm read-OY! I'm read-OY!"
• "Excuse me, sir, but you're sitting on my body, which is also my face."
• [Holding Mermaidman's belt] "For years this belt has stopped the fall of nations. And pants."
• "Squidward, you're steaming! You're like a steamed vegetable, only smarter."
• "Flats was the real victim here. A victim of a society that's heading down a road of violence to nowhere. It's a road I like to call, Violence Road."
• "WHERE IS ALL THIS LITTER COMING FROM!?"
• Gary, I'm absorbing his blows like I'm made of some sort of spongy material.
• Imaaagination [rainbow sign]
• "Never lick an electric eel."
• "Pick something, but not your nose"
• Mr Krabs: "Spongebob, that hat makes you look like a girl"
  

Spongebob: "Am I a pretty girl?"

Patrick Star

• SpongeBob: "If your parents got to meet a real dummy, they'd recognize what a genius you really are!"
  Patrick: "But don't genius live in a lamp?"
• Patrick: "I've got an idea. Let's leave!"
  SpongeBob: "But the door is locked. And the only way out is through the... Perfume Department!"
  Patrick: "Let's do it!"
• [To a fire hydrant]
  "Are you Squidward? It's okay, take your time."
• SpongeBob: "We're gonna party 'til we're purple!"
  Patrick: "Oh boy, I love being purple!"
• SpongeBob: "My friends don't hang out at Weenie Hut Junior!"
  Patrick: "You tell 'em, SpongeBob!"
• Patrick: "SpongeBob, sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems."
  SpongeBob: "I'm scared..."
  Patrick: "Then I'm going in for you!"
• Patrick: "Liar, liar, plants for hire."
  SpongeBob: "That's 'pants on fire,' Patrick."
  Patrick: "Well you would know, liar."
• "That's not crazy talk, THIS IS CRAZY TALK! OGGBLABULLA!"
• [Patrick is answering the phone at the Krusty Krab]
  Customer: "Is this the Krusty Krab?"
  Patrick: "No, this is Patrick."
  [He hangs up]
• SpongeBob: "Warmer...getting warmer... hot! You're hot! YOU'RE ON FIRE!"
  Patrick: "OW, IT BURNS!"
• "Just call me Daddy!"
• SpongeBob: "Patrick, I'm confused."
  Patrick: "Yes I am."
• "It's called The Ugly Barnacle. Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, that everyone died. The End."
• "Aw, fish paste!"
• Patrick: "I'm so cold, I'm shivering.
  Spongebob: "I'm so cold, I can use my nose drippings as chopsticks."
  Patrick: "I'm so cold... I'm shivering!"
• "It's like a gold mine, but with fur."
• "Sponge, I'm a big man. A big, BIG man!"
• "Come on, you know: I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me, wumbo. Wumbology, the study of Wumbo!? Come on, it's 1st grade!
• "I defy you, Heart Man!"
• "You mean to say they've taken what we thought we think and make us think we thought our thoughts we've been thinking our thoughts we think we thought... You think?"
• "Pardon my French but, GET THIS THING OFF ME!"
• "Well the nerve of that guy and his driving eyeballs."
• "If I knew that guy, I'd have a few choice words for him. Like 'You', and 'Are', and 'A Jerk'!"
• "Wow, you guys are good. I'm the last one I would have suspected, but I was looking for me the entire time! It's the perfect crime!"
• "Spongebob, my legs are frozen solid, you'll have to cut them off with a saw!"
• "Squidward, your ceiling is talking to me!"
• "Whoever has a white sedan, you left your lights on."
• Spongebob: "Patrick, your snail is a rock."
  Patrick: "Yeah thanks I know, he's got nerves of steel."
• Spongebob: "Patrick, Your genius is showing."
  Patrick: "Where???
• Squidward: "Squidward will now be performing his version of Solitude in e minor."
  Patrick: "Yay! E minor!"

Squidward Tentacles

• Spongebob: "What could be better than serving up smiles?"
  Squidward: "Being dead!"
• "Another day, another migraine."
• "Who in the world would want to blow bubbles!"
  [Patrick appears from his rock]
  "Ohh...boy."
• Squidward: "I can't believe anyone would celebrate a holiday where a jolly prowler breaks in and leaves gifts."
  Patrick: "Like a genie!"
• "SpongeBob, let's go through this again: People order the food, you cook the food, I serve the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die."
• "Spongebob, I want to move so far away that I can brag about it. I would rather tear out my brainstem, take it to the nearest four way intersection and skip rope with it, than continue living where I do now."
• Bubble Bass: "I'll have a double triple Boston deluxe, on a raft, four by four, animal style, extra shingles, with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim."
  Squidward: "Uh, we serve food here, sir."
• "How's the unibrow?"
• "No Patrick, Mayonnaise is not an instrument." [patrick raises hand again] "Horse raddish is not an instrument either."
• "How's that harmonica solo going, Plankton?"
• "If I would have a dollar for every brain that you don't have, I'll have one dollar!"
• "Why should the last 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery?"
• "Moron!"
• "I hate all of you!"
• "Why do I always have to be stuck with these idiots!"

• "Spongebob is it time already for you to ruin my day?"

Sandy Cheeks

• "Stupidity isn't a virus, but it sure is spreadin' like one."
• "I'm gonna be all over you like ugly on an ape!"
• "Spongebob's acting jumpier than a rattlesnake in a pickle barrel."
• "I don't know why, but I think I'll kick Spongebob's butt tomorrow."
• Sandy: "Oh I'm Sandy alright, very sandy"
  [whak]
  Spongebob: "Oh I see, that's her name and she's also covered in; yes!"
• "THAT'S FOR YESTERDAY SPONGEBOB!"
• "You're about as ugly as homemade soup."

Plankton

• * "Remember Spongebob: Ravioli ravioli, give me the formuoli."
• "Everybody direct your attention to the south-west corridor. Other way, imbeciles."
• Plankton: "See how much better life is..when you're maniacal!
  Spongebob: "Uh, I thought it was called assertiveness."
  Plankton: "Whatever."
• "I WENT TO COLLEGE!"
• "I'LL DESTROY YOU ALL!"

Gary the Snail

• "Meow."

• SpongeBob: "I'll just sneak over to Patrick's house when he's asleep and sneak a look inside his secret box! Good idea, huh, Gary?"
  Gary: "Meo-No."
  SpongeBob: "Ah, what do you know? You're just a snail!"

• SpongeBob: "Gary! It's opposite day!"
  Gary "Meow."
  SpongeBob: "Gary! Get into the opposite day spirit!"
  Gary "Woof."

Bikini Bottom National Anthem

O Bikini Bottom, we pledge our hearts to you, as faithful as deep as true as blue! Bikini Bottom We love you!