The Boondock Saints

Doc: You know what they say: People in glass houses sink sh... sh... sh... ships.
Rocco: I got to buy you a proverb book or something, because this mix 'n' match shit's got to go.
Doc: What?
Connor: Well, a penny saved is worth two in the bush, isn't it?
Murphy: And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.

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Paul Smecker: Brilliant. So now we got a Huge Guy theory and a Serial Crusher theory. Top notch.

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Connor: Now you will receive us.
Murphy: We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
Connor: We do not want your tired and sick.
Murphy: It is your corrupt we claim.
Connor: It is your evil that will be sought by us.
Murphy: With every breath, we shall hunt them down.
Connor: Each day we will spill their blood, 'til it rains down from the skies.
Murphy: Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
Connor: These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.
Murphy: There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth, not to push the bounds and cross over, into true corruption, into our domain.
Connor: For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three, and on that day you will reap it.
Murphy: And we will send you to whatever god you wish.

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Yakavetta: I'm having a shitty day. I'm depressed. Tell me a funny joke.
Rocco: Uh, OK. There's these three guys walking on the beach, a spic, a white guy, and a black guy.
Yakavetta: Nigger.
Rocco: Yeah, right. So they find this pot, rub it, and a genie comes out. The genie says you can wish for whatever you want. So he asks the Mexican what he wants, and he says "I want all my people in America to be happy and free, and in Mexico." So the genie goes poof. It's done. Then he says to the black guy...
Vincenzo Lipazzi: Nigger.
Rocco: Yeah, right, he says to the nigger "What do you want?" And the nigger says "I want all my nigger brothers to be back in Africa, and happy and free and everything." So the genie goes poof. And they're all back in Africa. So... I'm not funny today, really, this joke sucks, I know...
Yakavetta: Continue the joke.
Rocco: Uh, so he says to the white guy, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy says, "Wait, you mean to tell me that all the spics and niggers are out of America?" The genie goes yeah, and the white guy says, uh, "I'll have a Coke, then."

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[Picking out weapons and gear]
Connor: You know what we need? Some rope.
Murphy: What are you, insane?
Connor: No, I'm serious. Charlie Bronson's always got a rope. In the movies, they've always got rope and they always end up using it.
Murphy: That's stupid. Name one fucking thing you're gonna need a rope for.
Connor: It's not what they need it for, they just always need it.
Murphy: What's this "they" shit? This isn't a movie.
[Murphy picks up a huge commando knife]
Connor: Oh, is that right, Rambo?
Murphy: All right, get your stupid fucking rope.

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Connor: How far are we going to take this, Da?
Il Duce: The question is not how far. The question is, do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far as is needed?

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Doc: Why don't you make like a tree, and get the fuck outta here?

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Rocco: Fuckin'..What the fuckin' fuck..Who the fuck..Fuck this fuckin'..How did you two fuckin' fucks..FUCK.
Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.

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The Priest: Would they ever harm an innocent person for any reason?
[of Rocco who's holding him gun point]
Paul Smecker: No, they would never do that.
[beat]
Paul Smecker: Well, the Two Irish guys wouldn't, the Italian guy, he might but he's kind of an idiot.

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[After Smecker gets a phone call in bed with his gay lover]
Paul Smecker: What are you doing?
Hojo: I just wanted to cuddle.
Paul Smecker: Cuddle? What a fag.

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[After Rocco accidentally turns a cat into a splatter on the wall]
Murphy: I can't believe that just fucking happened!
Rocco: Is it dead?

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Murphy: Yeah, it's St. Patty's Day, everyone's Irish tonight. Why don't you just pull up a stool and have a drink with us?

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[Connor and Murphy always pray over their victims]
Connor, Murphy: And shepherds we shall be, for thee my Lord for thee, Power hath descended forth from thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out thy command, we shall flow a river forth to thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be. In nomine patris, et filii...
[they cock their guns]
Connor, Murphy: ...et spiritus sancti.
[blam]

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Rocco: Me! I'm the guy! I know everyone! I know their habits, who they hang out with! I got phone numbers, addresses! I know who they're fucking, I know where they live! We could kill EVERYONE.
Murphy: What do you think about it?
Connor: ..I'm strangely comfortable with it.

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Rocco: Fuck. You guys could do this every goddamn day.
Murphy: We're sorta like seven eleven, we're not always doing business, but we're always open.
Connor: Mmmm...That was nicely put.

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Rocco: Wyatt fuckin Earp!

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Paul Smecker: Television. Television is the explanation for this. You see this in bad television. The little assault guys creeping through the vents, coming in through the ceiling. That James Bond shit never happens in real life. Professionals don't do that.