Tom Goes To The Mayor

Table of contents

1 Tom Goes To The Mayor 1.1 Bear Trap Song 1.2 Tom Peters 1.3 The Mayor 1.4 Terry 1.5 Zynx 1.6 Others

Tom Goes To The Mayor

Bear Trap Song

Jack Black: Traps all day and traps all night. Traps can snap and rip and bite. Put a bear trap here, put a bear trap there. Traps can go most everywhere.

Kyle: Traps all day and traps all night. Me love traps with all my might.

Jack Black: You can set it and forget it.

Kyle: But don't ever let it get you in the arm. Oh, no.

Jack Black: It happened long ago.

Kyle: Careful with that trap in tow.

Jack Black: You know, traps are real and forged in steel. Pappy taught me on the trapping wheel. These bear traps. She be my master. (The Mayor laughs from the audience) They clink and clank like a stab from a shank. Suddenly, there hence a stank. It was I. (Kyle sniffs) What a disaster.

City Council Dolls: Child safety is our code.

Jack Black & Kyle: Put some bear traps in the road.

City Council Dolls: Never shall we fear or fight.

Jack Black & Kyle: We guarantee they'll snap real tight. (Music swells) Well, you must admit that it's a real man's trade. We'll admit that it's a real man's trade.

Tom: (spoken) Ok, cue the balloons. (Balloons fall down)

Jack Black & Kyle: It's a real man's trade. We'll admit that it's a real man's trade. (All the City Council Members hold up "Yes" signs) Admit it's a fair trade.

Tom Peters

(The mayor is not listening to tom) uggggh Crickets (the mayor slowly goes down on his swivel chair)

The Mayor

• "It's the red pasta the Italians call SPAGHEEETTEH"
• "Safe at Last"
• "Wow, it sure sucks when Tom goes to me."
• Clue #4: "We use these noodles for lo mein, but not for spaghetti."

Terry

• "My inhaler!"
• "My house has a front door and a back door"

Welcome to WW lazers!

Zynx

• "ARG! Zynx has been beaten by scheduling!"

Others

Mayor: What's the matter tom? Tom: Well, you see- Mayor: HO! HO! HO!

[The Mayor watches "Scared Safe," a TV Program] Mike Foxx: (on TV) My name is Mike Foxx, and I've lost 13 of my own children--4 to wind poisoning, 2 to sand rash... The Mayor: Oh. Mike Foxx: (on TV) ...5 to deadly crickets, and at least 6 to a mysterious drifter who looks and sound like this guy. (A picture of the Mysterious Drifter pops up who looks like Mike Foxx in disguise) Mysterious Drifter: (on TV) This is the sound of my voice. The Mayor: Oh, no.

[Tom shows The Mayor a picture of his family] The Mayor: Tom, that looks like a lot of fun. And look at those boys. Tom: Ok. The Mayor: They look just like you. Tom: Well, um, they're not actually mine. They're from Joy's previous marriage, but-- The Mayor: Ooh. Oh.